A prominent Nigerian social media personality and self-styled relationship coach has ignited a firestorm of criticism after issuing a stark warning to men to be wary of women he labelled “salary queens” and “money-conscious” partners, with many accusing him of promoting deeply misogynistic and retrograde views.
The controversial figure, who has built a large following across platforms such as Instagram and TikTok with his often blunt takes on dating and marriage, took to his official page on Thursday to deliver a lengthy video address. In it, he urged young men to reconsider relationships with women whose primary interest, he claimed, is a man’s earning capacity rather than emotional connection or shared values.
“A salary queen is a woman who calculates your paycheck before she calculates your heartbeat,” he said in the video, which has since been viewed over two million times. “She is not interested in who you are, but what you can provide. If you lose your job tomorrow, she will lose her love for you the next day. Men, do not be deceived by the cosmetics and the smiles. Look at the lifestyle she demands, and ask yourself: does she love me, or does she love my money?”
He further warned that such women often demand expensive gifts, exotic vacations, and lavish living standards from the outset of a relationship, pressuring men into financial strain. “A woman who is truly invested in you will build with you, not drain you,” he added.
Backlash and Accusations of Misogyny
The remarks have drawn swift condemnation from women’s rights advocates, gender equality activists, and even fellow influencers. Critics argue that the rhetoric reinforces harmful stereotypes, reduces women to transactional beings, and shifts blame onto women for systemic economic inequalities that force many to seek financial security in partnerships.
“This is classic victim-blaming dressed up as ‘advice,’” said Abike Akinwande, a Lagos-based gender researcher. “He ignores the reality that many women face economic precarity in Nigeria, where unemployment and wage gaps are rampant. Instead of addressing those structures, he vilifies women for making pragmatic choices. It is misogyny, plain and simple.”
Several prominent female public figures have also responded. In a series of tweets, actress and activist Toke Makinwa wrote: “If a man is afraid of a ‘salary queen,’ maybe he should stop flaunting his salary like a peacock. A woman who respects herself will not date a man who thinks her worth is measured by her bank account, but neither will she accept a man who expects her to survive on love alone.”
Defence and Followers’ Reaction
Despite the backlash, the influencer’s core audience—predominantly young men—has largely defended his stance. Hundreds of comments flooded his post, with many expressing gratitude for what they called “honest advice.”
“He is saying what our fathers never told us,” read one comment. “The modern woman is not looking for a partner; she is looking for a provider. Men need to wake up.”
The influencer himself has not backed down. In a follow-up post, he doubled down, stating: “I am not against women. I am against women who use men as ATMs. If you are a hardworking woman who contributes to the home, this message is not for you. But if you think your only contribution is your presence, then yes—you are a salary queen.”
A Broader Cultural Debate
The controversy taps into a long-running debate in Nigerian society about gender roles, financial expectations in marriage, and the rising cost of living. With inflation at a 20-year high and youth unemployment exceeding 40%, many young men feel tremendous pressure to be sole breadwinners, while many young women feel equally pressured to secure financially stable partners in a precarious economy.
Sociologist Dr. Chidi Obi of the University of Lagos offered a nuanced take: “The term ‘salary queen’ is not new; it is a modern twist on old tropes about gold-diggers. The problem is not that such women exist—they do, as do ‘salary kings’ who pursue women for their wealth. The problem is that we reduce entire genders to caricatures. This influencer is feeding a toxic narrative that poisons trust before a relationship even begins.”
What Happens Next?
While the influencer has not faced any formal sanctions—his content is protected under free speech—some organisations have called on social media platforms to review his posts for hate speech or harassment. The National Human Rights Commission has issued a terse statement reminding all citizens that “promoting hostility against any gender is inconsistent with the constitution and our shared values.”
For now, the debate rages on across dinner tables, radio call-in shows, and Twitter timelines. The influencer, for his part, appears unfazed. He has already teased a follow-up video on “how to spot a salary queen in three days,” promising to reveal a “foolproof checklist.”
Whether his advice is seen as a wake-up call or a regression remains a matter of deep division—but one thing is certain: in Nigeria’s vibrant but often polarising online space, he has succeeded in getting the nation talking, even if what it is saying is far from united.
